A Public Service Announcement

After taking a break from on-line dating I decided I would have a little fun with my on-line profile. Instead of talking about myself I used the "About Me" field to talk directly to the more disadvantaged guys out there who really needed guidance in the fine art of writing a profile and thus was the Public Service Announcement born. Below is what I wrote:


Hello Boys! After reading many, many profiles I decided I could hold my tongue no longer. You guys need help! So listen up.

First off, lets talk about your pictures. Women are just as "visual" as men are so invest in some decent photographs and remember the eyes are the window to your soul - if we can't see your eyes how will we know who you are? Mkay?

Second, photos taken with you and other chicks are a HUGE turn off, we don't know that the pretty blonde standing next to you with your arm around her shoulder is your sister so err on the side of caution.

Next, lets discuss headlines and body text. Never ever use the following words - easy going, fun loving, laid back or honest. Those are just cliches that tell us that you either a) Don't know who you are b) Haven't really put much thought into who you are or c) Are hiding something. I have yet to meet a guy who claimed he was "fun loving" and truly was. Don't tell us who you are, show us who you are. Talk about what makes you happy, tell us what annoys you, share a story!

OK, how about using the spell checker huh? Compose what you want to say in an e-mail or word doc then copy and paste. It's not that hard and it makes a world of difference. Also, don't neglect your punctuation.

Now about Winking - nobody gives a crap if you wink so don't be a Winker. And Fling Trollers - go someplace else. Most women are here to find love. Seriously.

I know I may sound a little harsh but following this advice will help you not hurt you. Good luck and happy hunting!