The Nice Guy Gone and the Pattern of Insanity
Despite the failure of my last relationship I still believe that on-line dating can work for people but as part of my 2008 news years resolution to break old patterns I am opting for the more traditional form of dating going forward.
I like setting goals and making resolutions. I hope I never stop trying to improve myself. Each year I think about what I want to focus on and then I come up with a motto or a sentence that I repeat to myself through the year. In 2007 I made a goal to become more educated about money management and gain the skills I need to grow wealth so my motto became; Life is a numbers game. I don't claim to have it all figured out but I'm doing a hell of a lot better than last year.
I want to break my old patterns - any and all of them. I want to stop making excuses and find solutions. I want to rescript those voices in my head and that is really hard to do. I once read that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Each time I repeat a pattern and things end up the same way, why am I so shocked that things didn't go differently??? When I start dating a guy that is riddled with flaws that I cannot accept why should I be surprised when it doesn't last?
It's a fine line, this dating thing. Choosing the right rules for yourself; don't rule out men that you normally wouldn't date because you might find something great that you didn't expect. Don't set your standards so high as to make it impossible for a guy to meet them but don't settle lest you set yourself up for heartbreak. If my pattern is dating egotistical, self absorbed blow-hards then I should try dating the "nice guy" even if it feels uncomfortable. But simply going out with a guy because he's really nice isn't enough. Take my latest relationship - nice guy but still not right for me. I needed someone with a high level of communication skills and I compromised my needs simply in the name of dating the nice guy.
So where does that leave your intrepid dating drivel girl now? Back on the scene and much more cautious than ever before.