Roolz Schmoolz

I try (try being the operative word here) to be a Rules girl, usually failing spectacularly. Call it a lack of faith, call it a lack of moral fiber but whatever the cause I cannot seem to abide by these easy set of directions which I know full well are designed to protect me from heart ache and lead me down the path that I truly want to go. What are some of these Rules you ask? Here are just a few that I don't follow but wish I did.

1) Don't pursue the guy, let him do all the work. Guys like a challenge, that's why they play sports and raid corporations. If you make it too easy for them they won't feel the satisfaction of knowing they "won" you thus making you more valuable to them. If they really value you they will be less likely to take you for granted. Also, guys know what they like and don't like, they know who they find attractive, if he doesn't call then there's a pretty good reason for it. Why oh why can't I follow this one? What is this compulsion I have with sending e-mails to guys first? Or calling first?

2) Don't sleep with him on the first, second or even third date. Ok, this really isn't a problem for me MOST of the time but if I find a guy exceptionally hot...well hey, I'm only human! My problem is I get emotionally attached to the person I'm sleeping with (yeah I know, typical female) regardless of whether they are good for me or not. I've got a simple remedy to stop me from breaking this rule - I simply avoid alcohol on the first few dates. I'm tellin' ya! That saying is true, 'Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker'. Amen to that!

3) Don't open up too quickly and don't play therapist. I'm much better about this one but I didn't use to be. I used to share too much too soon and of course that's gonna scare a guy away. Yes, we are all neurotic in our own special way and no one is without baggage but I've learned it's important to bring out the baggage very, very slowly - if at all. I LOVE to analyze people. Emotional trauma and weird personality ticks fascinate me so it's hard not to dig when a guy opens up *especially* when there's an ex-wife involved and you want to know why their marriage ended. It's not as if I'm going to get a straight answer to that question anyway.

I try hard not to beat myself up when I break the Rules but I'm my own worst critic. It makes me wonder just how much will power I actually have. I like to think of myself as a pretty strong person but perhaps I don't know myself as well as I thought?